Why?
Why am I here?
If our destination is to be with the Lord,
and the way to get there is to Believe, and then die, then
Why do we wait so long?
Why do we go through struggles, and pain, and stress,
Why do we go through sadness, and sickness, and crying fits,
If all of us Believers go to the same place,
Why do we wait so long?
Why not now?
I don't get it.
I'm supposed to work hard every day.
I'm expected to throw my social life out the window.
I'm forced to breathe differently.
Why?
Am I supposed to keep myself healthy?
Or am I supposed to live my life to the fullest?
I'm confused.
I want so badly to give up.
I want so badly to live, and then die
Like any normal person would.
I'm not wanting to die now,
so don't misinterpret.
I just need some enlightenment.
Some motivation to live.
Someone to just explain,
Why?
Why am I here?
If our destination is to be with the Lord,
and the way to get there is to Believe, and then die, then
Why do we wait so long?
Why do we go through struggles, and pain, and stress,
Why do we go through sadness, and sickness, and crying fits,
If all of us Believers go to the same place,
Why do we wait so long?
Why not now?
I don't get it.
I'm supposed to work hard every day.
I'm expected to throw my social life out the window.
I'm forced to breathe differently.
Why?
Am I supposed to keep myself healthy?
Or am I supposed to live my life to the fullest?
I'm confused.
I want so badly to give up.
I want so badly to live, and then die
Like any normal person would.
I'm not wanting to die now,
so don't misinterpret.
I just need some enlightenment.
Some motivation to live.
Someone to just explain,
Why?
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May 27, 2010 at 10:47 PM
I know how you feel. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't dare say that I know what it's like to have CF. But I get what you're saying.
And we both agree that God only gives you what you can handle.
Always remember that God doesn't put this kind of stuff on you. Sin does; the sin that we're all infected with, and The Bad Guy (devil), it's master.
But through Christ's blood we are made new, and cleansed.
God always works things together for good.
So keep your hope in the fact that good will come out of this.
But also that His thoughts are not our thoughts.
If we limit Him by the way we think He can do things in our lives, He can only work within our limits. Yet He is "able to do exceedingly above all we can ask, think, or imagine."
I don't have all the answers. I really don't. Only He does. And I'm learning that wisdom only comes from spending time with Him, and following His word.
There's more to you, my lovely lady. There's more to this- your situation.
If Jesus can defy death,
He can certainly rid you of CF (it's a poem!)
The question here is faith. It's something that I'm striving towards, but that I lack much too often. And yours astounds me.
Don't put it in your situation. Put your faith in the One who can bring you through it.
I love you soo much my beautiful and blossoming young lady. We will pray your lungs to health =)
P.S. If you're looking for some encouraging reading, flip to the book of Proverbs. I'm reading it right now, and it's basically amazing. It's all about how to gain wisdom from God and how much God wants to help you in your life =P
May 30, 2010 at 8:26 PM
My dear Carly,
I have remained silent for way too long. I have watched you and your brothers and sister grow up with the pride that only an aunt can have in her heart! I have a piece of advice I'd like to give you. Yes, there are times in everyone's life when they are depressed and wonder "why am I here." There is a purpose to these struggles, a lesson that God has in mind. I know it is difficult to understand, but Nana is correct, His power will pull you through your darkest days if you ask for His guidance faithfully. Remember when you are most afraid that He is with you always in whatever you do and wherever your journeys take you in this world. It has always been a source of comfort for me to remember that and I hope that it somehow, someway helps you.
Love you so much,
Aunt KeeKee